I'd like to be able to say that I only eat when I'm stressed out, or really really depressed or something. The fact of the matter is, though, that I seem to utilze any excuse to eat and basically not take care of myself.
A couple of months ago, we added a new addition to our family - a sweet little Yorkshire terrier named Harley. I already have a dog, Spencer, who is 40 pounds of bull in a china closet-thinks he's a lap dog-cuddle bunny-mutt. I've had him since he was weaned, and actually won him in a poker game. Harley was this little 13 pound fluff ball that skittered around, and yipped at people sometimes. Somehow, this odd couple of dogs became best of friends, and Harley melded our home into this complete family. I was happy, confident, balanced, and just basically kicking ass in all kinds of ways.
Last week Harley died. I'm not quite sure how it happened. He was a young dog of 3 years old, and had just been vaccinated, groomed, and had no known health problems. I let the poochies out for ten minutes, and then I let them in Harley didn't seem quite himself. He wobbled around for a minute, then fell down. I rushed him and my sleeping child (it was 2 in the morning) to the emergency hospital, and after 2 hours of trying to get him stablized, he passed away.
Confidence......gone
Balance.....gone.
Joy.....gone.
Appetite.....gone.
It was my son's weekend with his dad, which was probably a blessing in disguise. I spent the entire weekend either not sleeping, not eating, not moving. Found a nice bottle of scotch that I honestly had never planned on opening, but giving away as a gift, and ate some really disgusting junk food just to say that I ate.
So now, here I am, a few days later. I feel like crap, because I've pretty much just eaten crap for the last few meals. I need to find a new balance and get back to taking care of myself.
So my question into the void is this: Why is it that humans associate every emotion with food? Seems to me that families ought to start teaching that food is a fuel, like gasoline is to a car. If you put in inefficient gasoline into your car, your car will perform inefficiently. Likewise with the human body, the more efficient your food source, the better your body will perform. When celebrations occur, find ways to celebrate without food. When tragedy strikes, find ways to cope without being dependent on comfort food.
Of course, advice from the currently grieving over a little dog-lifelong morbidly obese-snarky comment riddled woman might not be the best plan to follow, but hey, anybody got a better idea?
